Carol Choches-O'Brien 1954-2011
Carol had a smile that brightened the life
of all she met and gave testimony to her love of
life and her loving nature.
"Loving her was easier than anything I'll will ever do again"
K Kristofferson
THE STORY
The Early Years:
A first grader standing at a full length window pounding on the glass and wanting out. Little did she know that someday she would be educating youth for her life profession. Of course she was a exemplary student through her entire schooling history.
I have it on good authority that she took piano lessons, dance lessons and was a girl scout complete with beanie and her own cook kit.
On the Bus
The Benefit Street Bus was the common means of transportation for Carol and a pretentious young boy who saw that smile at the downtown bus stop and was amazed that she got off at the same stop at the end of Clews Street. She lived down the street! Who would have guessed? Being in High School I had to go thru the time honored tradition of finding friends that knew friends who knew Carol to gage the probability of successful asking her out and getting a positive response. In a modern dating dance she found me at my employment The Pawtucket Library. She maintains that she really needed a book on Spanish cooking, I only know that she said yes to a date.
Teacher Girl
She started in kindergarten (see The Early Years) and proceeded up a grade each year till she landed in fourth grade. She loved teaching and loved her students, she chose not to bid out of the school she was assigned, in a low income part of Pawtucket, because she believed the students needed her. She loved that at that age the students matured significantly from the beginning of the year.
Married Girl
To be honest my proposal was " so when are we going to get married". That was how natural and comfortable we were. There was something in the recesses of my mind that knew that the was an amazing, loving, strong woman that was nothing but good for me. The fact that she was beautiful was not lost on a young man.
Running Girl
Carol began running with vigor when she found out she had cancer. She found that it helped her in a way that nothing else could. She hid it from the radiologist, a group of people obsessed with chafing, because it truly gave her the power to endure the horror of having cancer. By the way the secret to chafing is humongous amounts of aloe. She ran for years and did every 5k she could find. Any ride in Rhode Island would produce a "I ran here", "I ran here" from Carol. Other runners, people who always have a pained look on their face, often commented on her running with a glorious smile on her face, she loved running.
Mother
Having found that it was unlikely that she could have children, we decided to adopt. I was familiar with adoption having two sisters who were adopted, for Carol this was a new experience. The amount of love Carol was capable of giving made the experience natural and spectacular. She made a great parent, much better then me. Carol loved Shaun with a
remarkable intensity and without reservation.
Outdoor Girl
She loved walking, running, gardening, boating, water sports, camping, the ocean, anything outdoors. She spent a great deal of her spare time outside and really enjoyed living by the ocean in the wiles (sic) of South Kingstown. She was game for hiking and camping on the trails, she learned snorkeling and spent time sailing, kayaking and motor boating.
Library Girl
When Carol retired she was looking for a positive activity to "get out and about". The Cross Mills Library in Charlestown filled the bill and then some. She volunteered there and later worked part time. She loved it. The people there were exceedingly friendly and supportive. The Cross Mills Library is known as a top notch community resource. I chose the Library as a donation
It's been ten years, I still miss her every day. I decided to do something, so asked my cousins David and Debbie O'Brien to take me to the coordinates of Carol's ashes in their vessel. Being the most gracious, kindliest, and generous people you will ever want to meet, they said "let's go"
On August 25, a clear and warm evening we headed out of Salt Pond on our expedition.
We stopped, made a toast to Carol's memory with some sparkling wine and I read " My Beloved Wife" by
Natalie Merchant
It was a great night and a wonderful experience.
On the way back Debbie took a picture of the sunset, she did not set any filters, the hearts just showed up.
Technological glitch or Devine intervention, you decide.
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